There’s a widespread misconception about the ideal type of human being: the belief is that you have to become “spiritual”, peaceful, and caring. This myth conveniently hides the reality that what is really needed is heightened capability. An individual who has personally developed knows how to get things done and bring about change. Caring is a bit like hope in that it doesn’t really add much to solving the world’s problems. Anyone who denies that capability is crucially important is clueless; they’re more interested in fooling themselves and others than getting real.
Psychological attitude makes a huge difference between the outcomes of success or failure. We’ve identified the 16 key factors that combine to produce this all-important mentality. And, of course, it’s also essential that the avoidance syndrome doesn’t frustrate beneficial change. (The 16 key factors are detailed in our online course, films, and in the book Avoidance Doesn’t Work.)
So it’s all about genuinely becoming the best that you can be. No bullshit. No avoidance. And it must fully translate into practical application - as in “actions speak louder than words”. It’s worth repeating the “c” word to help stress this basic point: capability is absolutely necessary.
There are two fundamentally different motivations or mindsets. The “me, first” or self-orientated psychology is ubiquitous. Everyone is conditioned into it; it’s totally normalised. Within this standard behaviour is a range of caring for others, usually (but not always) restricted to family and friends. Alternatively, there’s been an appreciation for a long time that a wider understanding and love for all lies buried within our human potential. This is perhaps most simply expressed through the rallying cry of The Three Musketeers: “One for all, all for one”. You can therefore choose between making life better for “you and yours” or making life better for all.
The problem with the “one for all, all for one” option is that it hasn’t been properly understood, taught, or learnt. It’s remained as a lofty aim for the future. It is, however, the real alternative to “me, first”. And we know exactly how to achieve it. When “service before self” - one of our 16 key factors - is fully applied, then an individual’s meaning and purpose drastically changes. It’s a great strategy, with no need for belief whatsoever, but there’s one massive problem: it’s yet to happen. That said, the time to make it happen is long overdue. The choice is actually very simple: selfishness or non-selfishness. And this is just a matter of psychology and education.